Chapter 3: The Will is Read, Part I
Sebastian and Pippa agree that their parents would not want them to waste time in protracted mourning. Sebastian calls Payne and Fears, his father's lawyers, to arrange an appointment for the reading of the will. They arrive at the lawyer's office eager to hear how much money their father has left them.

As Mr. Payne busies himself opening the will, Sebastian and Pippa talk eagerly between themselves.
Pippa: Just think of all the lovely jewels I'll be able to buy!
Sebastian: And all that wonderful money ...

Mr. Payne clears his throat loudly. The twins cut short their speculation and turn to the lawyer, their eyes gleaming in expectation of the wealth soon to be theirs.
The lawyer begins: "There are several small bequests - " Sebastian interrupts, impatiently: "Yes, yes." Pippa urges: "Get to the part about us! How much are we getting?"

The old lawyer gives the twins a long look then says: "Of course. Your father was very clear on how he wanted this worded, so what follows is the precise wording determined by Cornelius." He begins reading: "To my dear children, Sebastian and Pippa. Your mother Deborah and I love you very much and have always wanted the best for you. We have spared no expense to give you everything you needed or wanted. We now see that in doing so, we made a grave error. Everything has always been made easy for you, and as a result you are a pair of wastrels. Neither of you has any skills and the very thought of getting a job sends shivers down your elegantly-clothed spines. You fritter away vast quantities of money you haven't earned on parties, nectar and the latest appalling fashions. You never give a thought to those less fortunate than yourselves."
Sebastian interrupts again: "I say, is there much more of this dreadful moralizing? Look, there's really no need to go through all that nonsense. Just tell us how much we're getting, and we'll be on our way."
The lawyer glares at Sebastian, shaking his finger at him: "Insolent pup! Your father was right about you. Now, sit down and shut up!"

Sebastian is shocked into silence, unable to believe the lawyer has dared to speak to him like that.
Mr Payne continues reading: "In short, children, it is belatedly obvious to your mother and me that you are afflicted with the disease of money. And since we, your parents, caused this disease, it is clearly up to us to provide you with a cure. Here is your prescription: you will have 10 weeks to transform yourselves into productive members of society. During this time, you will work, support yourselves, and learn skills. You will both decide on a Lifetime Wish and you will work to achieve it. You will buy your own house and take in needy orphans. You will provide these unfortunates with everything they need to get a good start in life: you will teach them to be happy, help them to succeed in school, and see that they acquire at least one skill to help them support themselves. In addition, you will donate to charities regularly. You will do all this without one penny of your parents' money and taking nothing from your parents' house. At the end of the 10 weeks if you have done all these things, you will have shown yourselves worthy to inherit my fortune. If not, the money will all go to the Home for Retired Gnomes."
... to be continued