Carl's Sims 3 Guide - Skills, Traits, Careers, Rewards, and Lifetime Wishes for Ambitions and World Adventures

The Sims 3 Relationships Guide

Introduction: Relationship Stages and Conversation Tones

Relationships GuideBuilding FriendshipsSocial InteractionsRomantic RelationsRomantic InteractionsTraits in Conversation
Sims 3 Relationships Guide

The Sims 3 features multiple relationship levels that define how Sims view friendships, romance, and family. In this guide to relationship levels, we'll learn about the various stages of a relationship and how you can make a Sim find a boyfriend or girlfriend, fall in love, get engaged, or have a wedding and get married. The Sims is not all about romance, of course, so we'll also be shining a light on the levels of friendship.

This relationship guide applies universally to the Sims 3. Whether you're playing the PC/Mac versions, or the Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, or DS ports, you'll find this guide helpful. Even with the computer versions' expansions, nothing drastically changes about the way relationships and the various friend levels work. You just get more options on how conversations are carried out, and the interactions Sims can perform.

Relationship Levels in The Sims 3
Let's talk about the various levels of like, or hate, the Sims 3 offers. All Sims start out as Strangers, but upon interacting will be Acquaintances. From there, the bar can move either right, to the positive, or left, into the red. At various levels the Sims' relationship status will change. Note that if your Sim doesn't interact with another for a time their relationship will start to decay. Even families need to interact with one another from time to time to maintain a good relationship. However, old friends and family are easy relationships to recover.

When speaking in terms of numbers, look at the positive side of a Sim's relationship bar. Best friends begins at 80-90, or 80-90% of the bar. The numbers here are estimates, but will give you a good idea where you'll need to be. Note that the stronger a relationship is, the more options a Sim will have while visiting without being Inappropriate.

  • Friendships: Friendships are the most basic measurement. At 40-50%, Sims will become Friends, 60 makes them Good Friends, and around 90 they are your Sim's Best Friend. . Teenagers can ask a Good Friend to be their Best Friend Forever (BFF). Any friendships that stand the test of time can eventually move up to Old Friend status. Old friendships can be recovered quite easily.
  • Enemies: As I said above, Sims don't have to be only Friends or Acquaintances. They can also come to hate one another. At -20, Sims become Disliked. At any point that the Sims' relationship has dived below zero, they can Declare Nemesis and become Enemies. Like Friendships, adversity can go on for a long time, and these Adversaries can become Old Enemies.
  • Romance: Romance progresses just as you'd expect. If your Sim has kissed or used other heavy romantic interactions on another Sim, and their relationship bar is in the positive, they'll become a Romantic Interest. At any point that your Sim can pull off the Propose Going Steady Social Interaction, they can become a Girlfriend or Boyfriend (Partner). From there, you can Propose Marriage to make the Sim your Fiancee. Once the wedding is performed, they finally become Husband and Wife.
  • Break-Ups and Divorces: can both occur in The Sims 3. Either of these interactions is available through the Mean category when things have been going sour. This is essential to the Heartbreaker Lifetime Wish. Sims that have become estranged this way will become an Ex Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Husband, or Wife..

Social Interactions and Conversations
Social Interactions can bring about various moods to a conversation. This dynamic of the Sims 3's socializing system allows us to see how our Sim's interactions are being taken, and their impact on the other Sim's feelings. These stages are crucial to certain facets of building relationships. See the various sections of this Relationship Guide to learn more about that type of conversation . Some interactions only unlock once a Sim has reached a certain stage in a relationship, while the success rate may also be determined by how the Sims are interacting. Overall the conversation tone is a large indicator for what options you'll have. Being hilarious will give you every joke option, and being extremely irresistible in romance will enable powerful options like going steady and proposing marriage.

Here are the various tones a Sim in a conversation can have, in order of magnitude:

Friendly Context: OK, Sociable, Friendly, Amusing, Funny, Hilarious. Compliments and the like will affect these, good conversation and jokes as well. It's one thing to chat, but Sims can really form bonds with a deep conversation.

Romantic Moods: Flirty, Alluring, Extremely Irresistible. These are pretty much all found under the Romantic section of the Social Interactions interface. Try to keep things from moving too fast early on!

Boring: Other sims can find yours boring. Don't repeat those social interactions too many times, unless you have the Never Dull Lifetime Reward or your Sim has the Charismatic trait.

Not so Hot: Odd, Awkward, Creepy, Very Awkward. Certain interactions can cause this. Sims with no sense of humor will show evidence of these, and if you try romantic interactions too early in a relationship you'll also see these.

Angry: Impolite, Rude, Unforgivably Rude. Use a Smooth Recovery or Apologize to get the conversation back on track. Unless your Sim is wicked, that is. Some of them just like to start fights!

Comments (36)

1 2 > [last]
mike says...
my sims have been talking for a loong time, she think my guy is okay, he is a young adult, i have flirted a lot with her, i have complimented her, and tried everything but kissing does not show up, and proposal does not show up either. I am getting annoyed, i have more promotion than increased relationship statues, my bar is completely full to the positive side also please help
12th October 2012 4:41am
binah06 says...
You have to be a romantic interest with her to make out/kiss/first kiss/shy kiss.
3rd January 2013 7:33pm
Hannah says...
Hey Mike, all you need to do is choose 'Confess attraction' under 'Romantic'. You certainly don't need to discover every trait Chloe!

Remember, 'Propose going steady' won't show up if the sim isn't single, so choose the 'Ask if single' interaction under 'Romantic' to find this out.

7th February 2013 11:57pm
chloe round says...
You need to have all the traits discovered for each, try getting the lifetime reward.
31st October 2012 8:16pm
What says...
Actually, you don't really need to discover all their traits to have a slim romance. I had a sim who only discovered 2 or 3 of the traits of the sim she was going after, and after they married she discovered all their traits, so...
16th November 2013 6:26pm
whaddabuh says...
On another sims town than the ones I play now, I had two premade married sims and neither of them was unflirty or anything. But when I tried romantic interactions the guy just got creeped out. What happened? I ended up deleting the town because they both had surrounded by family.
11th February 2013 11:24am
YouAreKakashki says...
If its like the 3ds game then you have to complete all the actions under Romantic (Flirt, Flatter, ect.) Then "More..." should come up and then whatever you should be able to kiss whoever it is. (Its just like the friend whatchamacallit. It works the same way)
12th March 2013 8:59am
kate says...
Every time I invite someone over, they do not come into my house. Even when I asked someone to stay over and they accepted, they stood outside all night and then fell asleep on the ground?? How can I get people to come inside?!
14th March 2013 6:37am
Caz says...
It might be because your front door is locked. Just click on your Sim's front door and if it's locked then the option to "Unlock" should come up :) I had the same problem!
17th March 2013 5:44pm
becs says...
I had the same problem but I always leave the door unlocked and I invited them in and they still didn't come in what happened!!
6th April 2013 2:18am
Jennifer says...
Where can I get a list of residents and who are adults, children, young adults, etc to start with? My daughter is a young adult and I need to get her married!
18th March 2013 5:56pm
Lala says...
Just type "list of households in [x] town" into your search bar, something should come up (or try the sims 3 wiki). Good luck!
23rd April 2013 8:29pm
max says...
With University Life we have the newly roommate relationship.
I have still many questions for myself like how to change this relationship to move in without starting a romance for exemple?
28th March 2013 11:57pm
sarah says...
my guy sim has been dating a girl and she recently became famous. hes a 4 star celeb and they have had perfect dates, the relationship was perfect but all of a sudden after a show she kissed him and then felt "awkward". Everytime she trys to do anything to him he gets all awkward again . Why is this happening? He proposed to her because I want them to start a family, and things are still this way. What can I do !?
7th April 2013 10:27am
Donna says...
How can I get my husband and wife to sleep in the same bed?
15th April 2013 1:47pm
Rebecca says...
you need to get the relationship bar up high and then they should. Hope this helps :)
25th January 2014 7:03am
Ultros says...
Actually I have two sims who are only aquatences and they both slept in a bed
3rd April 2014 12:25pm
me says...
my sims where at romantic interest very high in there relationship the i asked her to break up with her boyfriend and now she is starting to find me creepy. why is this happening?
16th April 2013 2:00pm
Houstalonavegas says...
Can teen sims become BFFs if they are already boyfriend and girlfriend?
18th April 2013 8:40pm
Rebecca says...
No if your sims are in the romantic then they can switch back to friends unless you break up. The BFF is part of the friendly interactions but if you go romantic you cant get the friendly ones back unless you break up. Hope this help! :)
25th January 2014 7:16am
Kat says...
How do you delete charecters or familys, because this one family has a really nice house that I want to raise my own family. I know theres a cheat for that...
4th May 2013 12:35am
Angela says...
I feel the same way as any other woman does without a child. My issue Started when i was unable to come up with a Child after 6 years of marriage, The email of this spell caster is you can contact him.
11th May 2013 10:02pm
barak says...
to all women get the 3 Steps To Make a Man Love You guide

the solution to all failing relashionships

enter here:

12th May 2013 12:09pm
Katie says...
My sims are married and i have had a baby and everything but now they arenstarting to feel creeped out about each other. I tried to get them to kiss but they both reject!
13th May 2013 3:14am
binah06 says...
Are they tired? Once my sim`s boyfriend rejected my sim`s kiss when he was tired.
16th May 2013 10:56am
Metanni says...
Well hello friends, my Sims name is Metanni, and she had a slight crush on another sim and they dated, and they flirted, and they were almost up to alluring. But on a date he invited her to, I tried to flirt with him to make them more than friends, But he denied, and when I waved over him face in relationships, He had a girlfriend.
But when I asked him the first time if he was in a relationship, he said no.

And I'm probs taking this too seriously,
but I really want her to have a family!

Anyway to regain his affections?
Have Metanni become best friends with the boy and eventually the option for him to break up with his girlfriend will become an option. Another possibility would be to use only friendly actions until she has the option to invite him to move in. Then you will control him as well as Metanni and can have him dump his girlfriend.
4th July 2013 4:05am
Em says...
<y two sims are a 'romantic interest' they moved in and shes pregnant with his kid. Iv been through all the romantic suggestions and theres no 'propose going steady' whats wrong?? I already checked if hes single and he is!!
Have you had them both try the interactions and it's not there?
22nd July 2013 3:25pm
Rebecca says...
A robber broke into my house and my bloke spoke to her now she's on his relastionship/friends list. My bloke has the thing where even if people don't speak there still friends, so is there any way to remove off the list or is she gonna be stuck on there.
They're relationship would have to reach a point of just 0 for her to be gone.
28th July 2013 8:11am
Tanya says...
I've looking to see if you mention that, if you wish, you can make your Sims gay. Are you trying to hide the fact that Sims start off as basically bisexual, or have I missed a mention of homosexuality somewhere on this website?
19th September 2013 9:49pm
sophie says...
need help!!! my Sim has a fiancee, and he calls up and invites her over to his place how do i get there? I've selected the I'll come over option, then the call finishes and nothing happens I've looked on town map but he doesn't come show up their.....1 of my Sims wishes is to stay over at his house so how do i get their?? I'm playing on a x-box 360 and not used to it. in past I've always played Sim's 3 on PC
28th October 2013 6:13am
1 2 > [last]
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