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The Sims 3 Relationships Guide

Introduction: Relationship Stages and Conversation Tones

Relationships GuideBuilding FriendshipsSocial InteractionsRomantic RelationsRomantic InteractionsTraits in Conversation
Sims 3 Relationships Guide

The Sims 3 features multiple relationship levels that define how Sims view friendships, romance, and family. In this guide to relationship levels, we'll learn about the various stages of a relationship and how you can make a Sim find a boyfriend or girlfriend, fall in love, get engaged, or have a wedding and get married. The Sims is not all about romance, of course, so we'll also be shining a light on the levels of friendship.

This relationship guide applies universally to the Sims 3. Whether you're playing the PC/Mac versions, or the Xbox 360, PS3, Wii, or DS ports, you'll find this guide helpful. Even with the computer versions' expansions, nothing drastically changes about the way relationships and the various friend levels work. You just get more options on how conversations are carried out, and the interactions Sims can perform.

Relationship Levels in The Sims 3
Let's talk about the various levels of like, or hate, the Sims 3 offers. All Sims start out as Strangers, but upon interacting will be Acquaintances. From there, the bar can move either right, to the positive, or left, into the red. At various levels the Sims' relationship status will change. Note that if your Sim doesn't interact with another for a time their relationship will start to decay. Even families need to interact with one another from time to time to maintain a good relationship. However, old friends and family are easy relationships to recover.

When speaking in terms of numbers, look at the positive side of a Sim's relationship bar. Best friends begins at 80-90, or 80-90% of the bar. The numbers here are estimates, but will give you a good idea where you'll need to be. Note that the stronger a relationship is, the more options a Sim will have while visiting without being Inappropriate.

  • Friendships: Friendships are the most basic measurement. At 40-50%, Sims will become Friends, 60 makes them Good Friends, and around 90 they are your Sim's Best Friend. . Teenagers can ask a Good Friend to be their Best Friend Forever (BFF). Any friendships that stand the test of time can eventually move up to Old Friend status. Old friendships can be recovered quite easily.
  • Enemies: As I said above, Sims don't have to be only Friends or Acquaintances. They can also come to hate one another. At -20, Sims become Disliked. At any point that the Sims' relationship has dived below zero, they can Declare Nemesis and become Enemies. Like Friendships, adversity can go on for a long time, and these Adversaries can become Old Enemies.
  • Romance: Romance progresses just as you'd expect. If your Sim has kissed or used other heavy romantic interactions on another Sim, and their relationship bar is in the positive, they'll become a Romantic Interest. At any point that your Sim can pull off the Propose Going Steady Social Interaction, they can become a Girlfriend or Boyfriend (Partner). From there, you can Propose Marriage to make the Sim your Fiancee. Once the wedding is performed, they finally become Husband and Wife.
  • Break-Ups and Divorces: can both occur in The Sims 3. Either of these interactions is available through the Mean category when things have been going sour. This is essential to the Heartbreaker Lifetime Wish. Sims that have become estranged this way will become an Ex Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Husband, or Wife..

Social Interactions and Conversations
Social Interactions can bring about various moods to a conversation. This dynamic of the Sims 3's socializing system allows us to see how our Sim's interactions are being taken, and their impact on the other Sim's feelings. These stages are crucial to certain facets of building relationships. See the various sections of this Relationship Guide to learn more about that type of conversation . Some interactions only unlock once a Sim has reached a certain stage in a relationship, while the success rate may also be determined by how the Sims are interacting. Overall the conversation tone is a large indicator for what options you'll have. Being hilarious will give you every joke option, and being extremely irresistible in romance will enable powerful options like going steady and proposing marriage.

Here are the various tones a Sim in a conversation can have, in order of magnitude:

Friendly Context: OK, Sociable, Friendly, Amusing, Funny, Hilarious. Compliments and the like will affect these, good conversation and jokes as well. It's one thing to chat, but Sims can really form bonds with a deep conversation.

Romantic Moods: Flirty, Alluring, Extremely Irresistible. These are pretty much all found under the Romantic section of the Social Interactions interface. Try to keep things from moving too fast early on!

Boring: Other sims can find yours boring. Don't repeat those social interactions too many times, unless you have the Never Dull Lifetime Reward or your Sim has the Charismatic trait.

Not so Hot: Odd, Awkward, Creepy, Very Awkward. Certain interactions can cause this. Sims with no sense of humor will show evidence of these, and if you try romantic interactions too early in a relationship you'll also see these.

Angry: Impolite, Rude, Unforgivably Rude. Use a Smooth Recovery or Apologize to get the conversation back on track. Unless your Sim is wicked, that is. Some of them just like to start fights!

Comments (47)

1 2 > Last
Rose says...
how do you divorce? i don't want to cheat in order for it to work but is there an option?
31st May 2014 11:49pm
Von says...
Yes, you can divorce without cheats. You need to have your Sims perform negative interaction(arguing, etc) in order to drive the relationship down. The choose Mean> Break Up.
19th June 2014 10:56pm
Sarah says...
I made sims who were boyfriend/girlfriend, but the girlfriend died. I ended up bringing her back to life with ambrosia, but their relationship status is stuck at ex now. They're still friendly and do a lot of romantic options automatically, but I guess they can never get married now?
18th March 2014 8:25pm
Chrissie says...
Hello. I'm playing Yolanda Lemmon from Starlight Shores and I would like to know how to basically 'reset' her relationship. She's a widow to 'Jimmy Lemmon' and he's deceased according to SimWiki. I'd like to be able to have her get married to someone new but I dont know how to break her current relationship. I do play with Mods (Nraas) and haven't found a solution. I've searched every inch of her house for an urn and he's not in the graveyard. Does anyone have an idea for me? I'm having fun with her but she can't get married if she's a widow...I'm stumped.
22nd May 2014 6:13am
Ash says...
Go to the graveyard and press the building. It should say get remains.
16th June 2014 5:58pm
Tanya says...
I've looking to see if you mention that, if you wish, you can make your Sims gay. Are you trying to hide the fact that Sims start off as basically bisexual, or have I missed a mention of homosexuality somewhere on this website?
19th September 2013 9:49pm
john says...
It never said you should make them straight either. In fact it even says "At any point that your Sim can pull off the Propose Going Steady Social Interaction, they can become a Girlfriend or Boyfriend (Partner)." Not "your sim has to be a boy to have a girlfriend". Anyway if you know that they can be gay why do you have to have them explicitly mention it?
22nd June 2014 2:15pm
Em says...
<y two sims are a 'romantic interest' they moved in and shes pregnant with his kid. Iv been through all the romantic suggestions and theres no 'propose going steady' whats wrong?? I already checked if hes single and he is!!
Have you had them both try the interactions and it's not there?
22nd July 2013 3:25pm
Metanni says...
Well hello friends, my Sims name is Metanni, and she had a slight crush on another sim and they dated, and they flirted, and they were almost up to alluring. But on a date he invited her to, I tried to flirt with him to make them more than friends, But he denied, and when I waved over him face in relationships, He had a girlfriend.
But when I asked him the first time if he was in a relationship, he said no.

And I'm probs taking this too seriously,
but I really want her to have a family!

Anyway to regain his affections?
Have Metanni become best friends with the boy and eventually the option for him to break up with his girlfriend will become an option. Another possibility would be to use only friendly actions until she has the option to invite him to move in. Then you will control him as well as Metanni and can have him dump his girlfriend.
4th July 2013 4:05am
Jordyn says...
That happend too to me what I did was invite her over put walls up lock the doors for house hold only after a few days I went on a date/outing with him I asked to be more than friends he said "you know what your right things are over between me and ___ will you be my girlfriend" and that's what happend hehe I kidnapped her but then I let her go I suggest doing that!
24th June 2014 2:49am
whaddabuh says...
On another sims town than the ones I play now, I had two premade married sims and neither of them was unflirty or anything. But when I tried romantic interactions the guy just got creeped out. What happened? I ended up deleting the town because they both had surrounded by family.
11th February 2013 11:24am
AJ says...
How do I do the smooth recovery?
1st August 2014 5:26pm
Aiden says...
So i had a lesbian sim couple. One of them caught on fire and died and then our cat resurrected her and now their ex-girlfriends. Ive been trying to get them to date again, but it wont work. Does anybody know how i can get them back together again?
6th August 2014 3:14pm
Tanya says...
I see you have not replied to my comment in over a month. Either you are lazy, deliberately obtuse, or anti-gay. None of those are very complimentary
26th December 2013 11:23pm
sophie says...
need help!!! my Sim has a fiancee, and he calls up and invites her over to his place how do i get there? I've selected the I'll come over option, then the call finishes and nothing happens I've looked on town map but he doesn't come show up their.....1 of my Sims wishes is to stay over at his house so how do i get their?? I'm playing on a x-box 360 and not used to it. in past I've always played Sim's 3 on PC
28th October 2013 6:13am
Jon says...
I have a young adult girl sim , I want her to date a teen boy but she doesn't have any romantic social options at all. Help Help please
15th November 2013 8:54am
Alysha says...
You cannot start a romance with somebody younger.
Teens have romantic options with other teens, but not with adults or young adults.
But I have found that if your 'Young Adult' woman and your male teen (or which ever) were previously dating whilst both were teens, you still have the romance option even if only one ages.
23rd November 2013 1:27am
Callista says...
Young adults and teens can't form romantic relationships. You'd have to wait for the teen to age up into a young adult or use a cheat before they could form a romantic connection. Hope this helps.
9th February 2014 9:33pm
Courtney says...
I have a teen sim (male) and I have been trying to get him into the romantic interest stage with this teen girl, I pressed the confess attraction button but nothing happens, can someone help me
22nd March 2014 11:35pm
empire says...
When my sim was a teenager, she used to date this guy, but she became an young adult before him and they couldn't even go on a date together, so I broke up with him. Now they're both adults and he appears as her ex, but I have been going out with him since he became a young adult too. They've done everything a couple could do, I've confessed my attraction for him, but I can't propose to him at all. Not even the option of asking him to move in appears. Can anyone help me? I really want my sim to have a family and I think I'm just wasting my time. I'm gonna end up looking for another sim.
31st May 2014 11:23pm
deanna says...
My girl sim started talkin to a random sim they became romantic interests had a baby but it wont let me move him in or become partners or marry. Hes sing a hopeless romantic and it says hesvthe father of my kid in my relations but he doesnt help with kid at all how do I change this
11th July 2014 5:55pm
Rebecca says...
A robber broke into my house and my bloke spoke to her now she's on his relastionship/friends list. My bloke has the thing where even if people don't speak there still friends, so is there any way to remove off the list or is she gonna be stuck on there.
They're relationship would have to reach a point of just 0 for her to be gone.
28th July 2013 8:11am
mike says...
my sims have been talking for a loong time, she think my guy is okay, he is a young adult, i have flirted a lot with her, i have complimented her, and tried everything but kissing does not show up, and proposal does not show up either. I am getting annoyed, i have more promotion than increased relationship statues, my bar is completely full to the positive side also please help
12th October 2012 4:41am
binah06 says...
You have to be a romantic interest with her to make out/kiss/first kiss/shy kiss.
3rd January 2013 7:33pm
Hannah says...
Hey Mike, all you need to do is choose 'Confess attraction' under 'Romantic'. You certainly don't need to discover every trait Chloe!

Remember, 'Propose going steady' won't show up if the sim isn't single, so choose the 'Ask if single' interaction under 'Romantic' to find this out.

7th February 2013 11:57pm
chloe round says...
You need to have all the traits discovered for each, try getting the lifetime reward.
31st October 2012 8:16pm
What says...
Actually, you don't really need to discover all their traits to have a slim romance. I had a sim who only discovered 2 or 3 of the traits of the sim she was going after, and after they married she discovered all their traits, so...
16th November 2013 6:26pm
YouAreKakashki says...
If its like the 3ds game then you have to complete all the actions under Romantic (Flirt, Flatter, ect.) Then "More..." should come up and then whatever you should be able to kiss whoever it is. (Its just like the friend whatchamacallit. It works the same way)
12th March 2013 8:59am
kate says...
Every time I invite someone over, they do not come into my house. Even when I asked someone to stay over and they accepted, they stood outside all night and then fell asleep on the ground?? How can I get people to come inside?!
14th March 2013 6:37am
Caz says...
It might be because your front door is locked. Just click on your Sim's front door and if it's locked then the option to "Unlock" should come up :) I had the same problem!
17th March 2013 5:44pm
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