Carl's Sims 3 Guide - Skills, Traits, Careers, Rewards, and Lifetime Wishes for Ambitions and World Adventures

Building Relationships

Making and Keeping Friends in The Sims 3

Relationships GuideBuilding FriendshipsSocial InteractionsRomantic RelationsRomantic InteractionsTraits in Conversation
Telling a Joke in The Sims 3

This section of the Relationship Guide focuses on building relationships, so that your Sims can later pursue romance, get a best friend, and experience success socially. I'll discuss how to meet Sims with similar interests, how to find out what a Sim likes, and other broad tips that can help with conversation.

The Importance of Charisma
While the Charisma skill is important if you want your Sim to socialize a lot and be very good at it, it's not so important to this guide. Charisma will help a lot when it comes to moving the relationship bar, and helps a bit in all aspects of a Sim's social life, but nearly every Sim will want to form at least a couple of meaningful relationships in their life. Unless they're a green thumb talking to plants, they'll want to chat it up once in a while to meet the social need.

The Social Need
Every Sim has a social need. They need to talk to other Sims to avoid loneliness, or they'll get too depressed to carry on with their daily life. While it's easy enough to have a quick chat on the phone to replenish this need, it's more beneficial for your Sim to visit with others. Not only is socializing helpful from a gameplay perspective, as higher levels of relationships will bring wishes that can be very helpful for getting closer to Lifetime Reward, but also to the richness of gameplay. The Sims 3 will get boring fast if you simply play in Fast Forward mode all the time and never take a look at the behavior and expressions of Sims as they interact.

The Beginnings of a Relationship - Acquaintances
Acquaintances are Sims that your Sim has met, or knows of. The first meeting is an important moment for a Sim looking for a buddy or a date. The Sim you want to befriend will now be in your Sim's list of contacts. These are sorted by the current relationship level from highest to lowest. This can be helpful if your Sim needs that 'one more friend' to get a charisma level, but its main purpose is to help you with your contacts.

Out and About - Meeting Sims
If you want your Sim to build relationships, get a girlfriend or boyfriend, or even start a family, you'll need to take them out of the house. Any Sim met can become a friend. However, you'll have better luck if your Sim goes to places they're interested in. Head to the art gallery if your Sim is artistic. Hit the gym if they're athletic. If your Sim loves the outdoors, head to the pond. You're more likely to meet Sims with similar taste by visiting these places. When your Sim can enthusiastically converse about a topic another Sim likes, you're more likely to see the relationship bar scooting quickly to the right.

Making Conversation
During a conversation with another Sim, take into account what your Sim knows about the other, and if they know nothing, learn! Use the Get to Know friendly interaction to strike up conversation that leads the Sim to reveal something about themselves. Once you know a trait, look for ways you can impress the other Sim. Talk about things the two have in common. If nothing else, you can use the chat interaction, strike up jokes, and tell stories. If you know a Sim's career, enthuse about it to them and they'll usually accept your Sim's interest in what they do. The most important thing is to mix it up. You shouldn't use the same interaction twice in a row unless your Sim is Never Dull or the other Sim is Friendly.

If your Sim's going to hang out with their new friend, make sure to set the mood. Invite them over and order pizza or prepare a meal. Make sure you have entertainment appropriate for the other Sim. Athletes might like playing a sport together, whereas a technophobe would not want to watch tv. This will give you more time to interact with the Sim. They're also more likely to be in a good mood, making them more receptive to social interactions.

Group Activities to Boost Friendship: There are a number of things you can do while building friendships, so that your Sims can have fun while getting to know one another. The most basic group interaction is eating a meal. Sims sitting at the table together will talk and strengthen relations. Of course, there's also television. Sitting near each other and watching a tv show both Sims enjoy can be a good booster. It'll also ensure the other Sim is having fun, so that future interaction is more successful. If your Sim is talking to another, and one of their other friends is nearby, ask them to join in. Your Sim can do this too.

Other ideas for group activities are playing video games, swimming, playing in sprinklers, having a picnic, sitting around the fire pit, playing Gnubb (Ambitions), sitting in a hot tub (Late Night), fishing, and dancing.

Maintaining Relationships
Key to your success in building friendships in the Sims 3 is maintaining them. You can't expect to build a long-term relationship if you let the Sim keep slipping out of friend status. Moving them further toward Best Friends is crucial. You want them to eventually become an old friend as your Sim ages. One key thing to do is use the phone from time to time. It's not a relationship builder, but it can put a stop to relationship decay. Since Sims grow more distant each day, their relationship decays and the meter starts moving left toward acquaintance.

When your Sim has multiple friendships and wants to keep them up, one good ways is to invite Sims over and Party. That way you can interact with multiple Sims of interest, all in one setting. With Late Night, you can also consider a group outing.

Making friends is a big part of The Sims 3. What we've learned here will be key to building relationships, and is the foundation upon which romantic relatipnships can be built.

Share Tips and FAQs (7)

Our Sims Forum is the place to go for faster answers to questions and discussions about the game. Use the form below to share your own experiences and provide helpful tips to other readers.

angel says...
i want my sim to date this sim but the thing is he has a wife how do i make him break up with his wife
15th September 2013 5:13am
simslover says...
I want my teenage daughter to get a boyfriend, how can I tell who is the same age as my sim? and can teenagers actually get in a relationship?
3rd January 2014 10:06am
Rebecca says...
You can tell the difference between teenagers and adults by the size. All teenagers are shorter than the adults or young adults and another way to tell is if you give an introduction to and adult or a young adult and your sims a teenager you will not be able to be romantic with the sims. Also yes teenagers can have romantic relationships with other sims but you cannot woohoo or get married. Hope this help
25th January 2014 6:29am
Rebecca says...
If you become best friend with the sims husband and then you become romantic with him he will accept and then eventually in the romantic list there will be an action that pops up which will say ask to break up with wife or something like that and then you can become romantic relationship with him! Hope this helps :)
25th January 2014 6:55am
simslover says...
I want my teenage daughter to get a boyfriend, how can I tell who is the same age as my sim? and can teenagers actually get in a relationship?
3rd January 2014 9:29am
Ginny9115 says...
My sim is best friends with a child sim. He just turned into a teenager and she is still a child. Will she age up any time soon?
31st July 2014 3:41pm
Connor says...
She will age up when her age bar is over and then she will turn into a teenager. Also if you have the Master Controller mod you can do it manually.
23rd May 2019 7:05pm
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