Carl's Sims 3 Guide - Skills, Traits, Careers, Rewards, and Lifetime Wishes for Ambitions and World Adventures

How To's: Romantic Interests in The Sims 3

Dating, Falling in Love, Proposing Marriage, and Having a Wedding

Relationships GuideBuilding FriendshipsSocial InteractionsRomantic RelationsRomantic InteractionsTraits in Conversation
Proposing Marriage in The Sims 3

In The Sims 3, your Sim can pursue Romantic Interests and have a girlfriend or boyfriend. They can deepen and strengthen those relationships until the Sims are in love. Sims can then propose marriage and eventually marry their fiancee. In this guide to Sims, romance and love, I'll talk about the various stages of a romance and how to move your Sim one step closer to finding a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner for life. We will discuss the Dating added in The Sims 3 Generations, and how you can get Sims from going steady to proposing marriage and having a wedding.

Sims 3 Romantic Interest
Romantic Interests will have this symbol
Building Romantic Interest
The first phase of romance in The Sims 3 is the Romantic Interest. This relationship level is hit as soon as your Sim (or the other) successfully completes certain romantic interactions with another Sim. If Sims are good enough friends, this can be triggered by just a little flirting, but early in a relationship a lot of interactions aren't available. Something simple like Confess Attraction is all that it takes. This will show you that the other Sim is indeed interested in yours and that a romance between them could work.

The more bold a romantic interaction, the more likely it is to fail when Sims are just starting to fall in love. As in life, it can be important to move slowly. That's not to say that two Sims can't fall in love and even propose marriage in the course of an afternoon, it's just all about the buildup. A failed romantic interaction can be a big blunder for a relationship's progress. If you move too fast, back off and try some easier things like a hug as opposed to a make-out session.

The Sims 3 Hopeless RomanticTraits Make a Huge Difference in Love
Certain traits can go a long way toward increasing your Sim's romantic success, though all Sims can eventually get married -- even those with Commitment Issues. Read the next section of this guide, Traits in Conversation, to learn about how those traits can make an impact. For love, the simplest information I can provide is that Charismatic, Friendly, Flirty, and Hopeless Romantic Sims are going to have an easier time finding a girlfriend or boyfriend. Spot another Sim who's a hopeless romantic (like one of my targets for this guide, Blair Wainwright) and they're in the bag. My flirty Sim was able to become her boyfriend in just a few short hours, as she accepted almost every pass he made. Of course this scenario would be quite different if she were Unflirty, but there's no nut you can't crack with a little patience and perseverance.

At any rate, once a Sim has been made a Romantic Interest more of the love socials will succeed, giving you a lot more options for how your Sim and potential Partner will proceed. The First Kiss interaction will unlock a few more options for kissing. Sims can be very conservative lovers. There's no need for things to get too hot and heavy in order for them to get engaged and wed.

Tone of Conversation - Turning up the Heat
As in other forms of communication between Sims, like the routine chat, the Tone of conversation will determine what options are available to you. When a Sim is being very alluring, they can really bring on the moves. Gaze into their eyes, embrace them, and whisper in their ear. Of course, interactions like this can be found under the special categories for traits even when you haven't set a tone. This is just one perk to having certain traits like Hopeless Romantic and Flirty.

A kiss in the park in The Sims 3

Sims 3 Girlfriend/Boyfriend
Propose Going Steady - Getting a Girlfriend or Boyfriend
When your Sim is being irresistible, they will have the option to ask the other Sim to go steady. This will set them as your Sim's Girlfriend or Boyfriend. They'll have a lot more privleges in your house, and getting caught cheating with another Sim can have major consequences. Jealousy can begin to be an issue, as well so you might not want to get caught flirting. At this stage in the relationship, they can propose marriage and a lot of interactions are available from the get-go. You don't need to build up momentum to WooHoo, for example. It's a cinch as long as the other Sim is in the mood.

Sims 3 Fiancee
Proposing Marriage - Getting Engaged
When your Sim has a boyfriend or girlfriend and the mood is right, they can then propose marriage. Use Romantic Interactions to make your Sim seem extremely irresistible and this will go over very smoothly. It's also how you get the option to appear in the first place unless your Sim is a hopeless romantic or possibly family oriented. This takes a bit of a high relationship to achieve. More so if one of the Sims has commitment issues. If your Sim is successful, the relationship moves up to the next highest level, fiance(e).

A Formal Wedding in The Sims 3

Sims 3 Husband and Wife
Husband and Wife
Husbands and Wives - Holding the Wedding
You have two options to get Married in The Sims 3. You can hold a wedding party and do it in style, having the vows during the party. Try to plan it to be a great one - make sure all the guests' needs are met, and they're entertained. Or give your Sim has the Legendary Host Lifetime Reward. You schedule the wedding party by using the Throw Party interface on the cell phone. If a Sim in your household is engaged, everyone in the household will automatically have this option. However, it's important that the engaged Sim be the one to throw the party. Otherwise, guests will leave disappointed because the Sim who threw the party didn't get married. Like other parties, you can set the attire and time, drawing on your list of known Sims for the guest list. The wedding can be a major wish to fulfill, and it makes the two Sims very happy. Often the parents of the couple will have a wish to see their child get married. The parents also get a nice positive moodlet for being the Father or Mother of the Bride or Groom.

If you want a glorious wedding, use Build/Buy Mode prior to the wedding party to do all of your decorations and set up. It's a good idea to have the bride/groom either already living in your household or at least be on the premises before the wedding party. Don't count on the party invitation being enough to get the groom there on time! If you control both the bride and groom, it's fairly easy to get both of them in place for the ceremony. If you control only one, you'll need to put him/her at the ceremony spot and then call the fiance(e) over. Once they are both in place, use the Romantic Interactions and select Get Married. The guests will automatically group around the couple and make the appropriate sounds for a wedding. After the wedding is finished, you'll get the screen to move the new spouse into the household (if they don't already live together).

However, if you're not into the whole party thing in the game, you can find the Have Private Wedding through the Romantic Interactions menu at any time after the acceptance of the marriage proposal. This will wed the two Sims instantly (as though they just got a marriage license). You'll be greeted with the household transfer menu, where you can bring over the spouse and select who will live where. Through either option of wedding, your two Sims will get a +50 Just Married moodlet for a couple of days.

Sims 3 Divorce - Ex-Husband and Ex-wife
Sims can indeed get divorced and separate. The option is found under Mean Interactions with "Break Up". Sorry, no signing Divorce papers in The Sims 3. In fact, you won't see the word "divorce" anywhere in the game. It's always called breaking up or splitting up, no matter what the exact relationship might be. Doing this will, of course, break hearts and cause a massive negative moodlet on the other Sim. When that moodlet is gone after a couple of days, interacting romantically with the ex will not be so awkward, and you can build momentum in conversation again, stepping up the romance levels and even get remarried, although the process is no different the second time around.

After Sims Break Up, they can Move out once more. You can select the Ex and use his/her cell phone and select Move. The Kick Out option is available, meaning the ex-spouse will go where ever they can without you having to choose or pay any money. Don't worry that he'll be homeless because a Sim who is kicked out will take possession of an empty house in town.

Cheating - Stealing Romance
This is a topic that has come to my email inbox multiple times now, so I'll answer it definitively here. Sims can cheat on one another - forbidden affairs are not rare in Sunset Valley or any other Sims 3 town. While you're flirting with another Sim, she may seem to say she has a boyfriend and cannot be doing things like this. Like I said, there's no nut you can't crack. Sims in relationships seem to need a bit more convincing, that is, relationship level, but they can and will cheat on the other Sim and you can even go so far as to commit full out adultery.

I found the Good Friends relationship level to be a sweet spot when my Sim was trying to woo the ladies away from their husbands. At that point, confess attraction things can move very, very quickly because of how much the cheaters like each other. If your Sim is caught by an angry husband, there's a good chance there will be a fight. Either way, don't expect the wounded partner to like it. Your relationship is going to take a massive hit. In most cases, if you want to steal a Sim from their husband or wife, you probably don't care about the consequences anyway. Asking the Sim to break up or divorce is like getting caught immediately. He'll know who took his girlfriend. And it's not just the partner/spouse who gets hurt. If a child or other family member witnesses the cheating, or even just flirting, there will be damage to the relationship and negative moodlets for betrayal.

Share Tips and FAQs (98)

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1 2 > Last
Emily says...
My sim married a guy, but it turns out he already had a relationship from before, and now he's cheating. I can't figure out how to find this other girl or break up with her because she's no longer listed in his relationships thing. Can anyone help?
16th March 2014 5:58pm
Elise says...
(I know this was posted a while ago, but...)

The easiest solution is to befriend her, invite her to your house, and kill her. Put up walls and trap her in a pool until she drowns. I do this when I'm sick of not finding single Sims...
8th July 2014 12:24am
Christiaan says...
I had a relationship with someone , but it's my birthday and turned into young adults, now I can not flirt with my girlfriend (lisa brunch) ... : (
Young Adults and teenagers can't have romantic interactions. You could always age Lisa up with a cake.
7th July 2013 3:36am
Holly says...
Can Sims get engaged while they are at university?
30th November 2013 12:32am
Spence says...
No, you cannot get engaged at university.
29th June 2014 3:54pm
Anonymous2 says...
Unfortunately, i don't think so
30th June 2014 4:17pm
hermione says...
no sorry
2nd November 2015 4:48pm
Nica says...
My situation is a little different: I want my sim's boyfriend to propose to her instead of the other way around. Is there a way to get him to do it autonomously without having to switch houses? Will having the male have the family-oriented and/or hopeless romantic traits help my cause there?
I totally understand how I could get them married very easily, but I was wanting it a little more traditional, where the female takes the male's name...and I ddon't like starting out with males.
3rd January 2014 12:03pm
Sims3Swek says...
Move him into your household.
19th August 2014 1:05pm
courtney mae burbage says...
hey im getting the sims 3 pets can I make out in the bed still lol im very sorry to bother you I was just asking
There should be no difference in the options available.  When adding an expansion, you just add features not take them away.
20th June 2013 7:56pm
simslover says...
Okay, so my sims were married but the broke up and now I'm trying to get them to get married again but it's not working. The friendliness bar is all the way up and they have been doing romantic things for like 2 days. Why is it so hard to get remarried?
9th January 2014 2:43pm
Ayaka Rain says...
Do your sims already see eachother as romantic interests. I think you will have to continue doing that intill they do. After the sim your trying to get too sees ur sims as extremely irresistible (I believe) after being romantic for soo long, the relationship should proceed to propose going steady, do the same, then it should proceed the same way.
27th June 2014 4:20pm
Liv says...
What you have to do is keep being friendly with them, not romantic (I know it's weird)! Until the 'ask to just be friends' in the friendly section comes up. After you click this, they will go back to being friends and you can start all over again! Hope this helped.
5th November 2015 3:58pm
Jessica says...
I've read somewhere (I'm assuming it's The Sims Wiki) that a Sim can ask their parents-in-law for their child's hand. Can you really do that?
Yes, this came with Generations expansion.
3rd July 2013 7:26am
Djjxhx says...
I can't seem to figure out how to devorce two sims that are not mine. I want a guy but he's married. Can I devorce him and his wife?
5th January 2014 4:45pm
simslover says...
Yes you can get other sims to break up. All you have to do is get romantically involved with the guy and eventually in the romantic menu there will be an option to "Break up with...". Hope this helps you.
9th January 2014 4:43pm
Diamond says...
I have two sims who are married and they both live in the the same house but they will not sleep in the same bed they keep trying to sleep on the same side.
This might mean that there is something blocking them from trying to get into the other side of the bed.  Make sure it's not against a wall and has an entire square free for them to get in.  Also make sure nothing is in the second square of the three squares of the bed.  That's where Sims get into the bed.
11th June 2013 1:24am
jackiebunny says...
my sims are both girlfriend and boyfriend they have 2 kids but i did everything, date, chats, romantic actions but no proposal to marriage. what should i do. i have sims pet 3
8th January 2014 12:54am
weirdguy says...
if you can not find the proposal for marriage button (bearing in mind both genders can propose) then your rather a doughnut or there is a glitch. hope this helped
18th June 2014 1:00pm
Jasmine says...
you have to Woo hoo a couple of times for marrige to show up.
3rd July 2014 2:32am
Mat says...
My sim has a romantic interest but I don't want them to be together anymore... How do I stop them from being romantic interests?
22nd February 2014 7:51pm
Jessie says...
Click on the other sim, and under the "mean" sub menu, click "ask to be just friends".
7th September 2015 3:52am
Some Simmer Fairy says...
Or, if you dont want to be mean, you could just ignore them for a few sim weeks/days.
11th November 2015 4:45pm
Rafael says...
they won't be girlfriend and boyfriend when i tried to look for take it steady but it's not there.
24th October 2013 10:57pm
Frustrated says...
CANT FIND PROPOSE GOING STEADY. It's a big problem cuz my sims lifetime wish is heartbreaker.
13th June 2014 2:53am
Ayaka Rain says...
I've heard despite traits or (lifetime goals) what not, it is still possible to push your sim into a relationship. Only when your sims think of eachother as extremely irisitable is when it will say propose going steady and also if they continue to think tht, u can propose and what not. Hoped this helped.
29th June 2014 4:33pm
Ririliveo says...
They have to be extremely Irresistible
16th June 2020 2:04am
Sara says...
My Sims have max romantic interest, they live together and everything but there is not option for them to go steady and get married... help plz
13th October 2015 3:02pm
Lauren says...
What if the person that you like has issues of being pose going steady can still be with and marry him! Please help
30th May 2014 10:08pm
Ayaka Rain says...
You mean if their trait is like commitment issues? I heard regardless of their traits it is still possible to further their relationship. You'd probably just have to work harder. :/
29th June 2014 4:40pm
Someone with a question says...
if you marry someone you didnt create, how do you live together and are you ever able to control them?
12th August 2014 11:18pm
Winter says...
I know this was ages ago but whatever. Go into the friendly section and if your relationship is high enough, it should say 'ask to move in'
you posted this ages ago so you have probably already solved it haha
15th August 2015 7:10am
Syeda says...
15th August 2015 2:13pm
Julia says...
Can sims have more than 1 husband/wife
3rd February 2014 5:51pm
blanche says...
Can I have 2 boyfriends at the same time?
12th January 2014 10:08pm
Anonymous says...
Nope, but you can have two romantic interests at the same time, or one boyfriend and one romantic interest at the same time.
7th August 2014 10:44pm
Sandy says...
Will a sim outside of my household propose to my sim, or must I have to always propose? I'm playing a lady, and I was wondering if her boyfriend will eventually propose because I'd rather it be anonymous and traditional
29th August 2015 2:36pm
Sascha says...
Hii guys,

Ive got a question!!
I have a married couple but when they married i found out that the guy had 2 other girlfriends. Ive let him confess he cheated but!! I want them to make up now... How do you get them back together??

1st June 2013 2:10pm
doglover says...
well i dont play the sims but i know quite a bit so
1.get the guy to break up with the gfs!
2.start the interactions (make up,flowers,embrace)
3.go on a date
4.apologizing helps a lot
5.if nothings working improve the sims mood
6.when you are extremely irresistible woohoo or try for baby then a good move is promise to protect
7. if the girl becomes pregnant the guy should do tum stuff (feel tummy,listen to tummy,talk to tummy)so when the baby's coming the guy should take her to the hospital
8.raise the child well and a child will always bring joy

hope it helped if step 2 is going wrong to friendly interactions
31st July 2013 8:58am
Rosey says...
I have a partner but I can't get married. How do I get married?
18th February 2014 1:23am
ilikecookies says...
how do you get other sims not in your household to marry your sim because I don't want my girl to ask her boyfriend to marry her
20th February 2014 6:02pm
weirdguy says...
my Sims were boyfriend and girlfriend but then they split but now when i press the confess attractions button they ask and agree but the relationship does not change is it a glitch?
17th June 2014 3:31pm
Dianaliz Vargas says...
You just have to restart your game and if it doesn't work restart your world
8th August 2017 6:10pm
Sophia says...
My sims is married and his wife is pregnant, they live with their other three children. His girlfriend is pregnant, too. Is it possible to get her to move in? She is best friends with the wife so that shouldn't be too much of a problem. If not, is it possible to get custody of the child?
Your Sim, Sims wife, 4 children = 6 so yes you could move in the girlfriend and get the child if you wanted because then you wouldn't have more than 8.  Just as long as you don't have 3 animals that is.
29th July 2013 10:56am
Hurvie says...
can you choose your entourage for your wedding? :)
30th July 2014 1:57am
Jessica says...
hi, my parents won't let me get the Sims 3 until I'm five teen. but I'm using up the time making a powerpoint called the Sims 3:tips. anyone got any helpful tips for me?
4th July 2014 5:56pm
Ayaka Rain says...
Helpful tips? Regarding the gameplay when you first get it?
5th July 2014 12:33am
Anonymous person says...
I threw a wedding party at the park and I don't know how to get all the decorations and stuff
27th November 2017 8:34pm
Isaac says...
So I'm a bit confused, I don't know what hap one to my game but I did the private marriage & I did not get the pop up asking to move the sim in? Need help!
9th July 2014 3:25am
Ayaka Rain says...
I'm assuming your sims weren't already moved in together when you had this problem. You have to ask the sim to move in with you. When your romantic/friendly enough the option should appear. Hope this helped.
9th July 2014 6:22am
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