Carl's Sims 3 Guide - Skills, Traits, Careers, Rewards, and Lifetime Wishes for Ambitions and World Adventures

How To's: Romantic Interests in The Sims 3

Dating, Falling in Love, Proposing Marriage, and Having a Wedding

Relationships GuideBuilding FriendshipsSocial InteractionsRomantic RelationsRomantic InteractionsTraits in Conversation
Proposing Marriage in The Sims 3

In The Sims 3, your Sim can pursue Romantic Interests and have a girlfriend or boyfriend. They can deepen and strengthen those relationships until the Sims are in love. Sims can then propose marriage and eventually marry their fiancee. In this guide to Sims, romance and love, I'll talk about the various stages of a romance and how to move your Sim one step closer to finding a boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner for life. We will discuss the Dating added in The Sims 3 Generations, and how you can get Sims from going steady to proposing marriage and having a wedding.

Sims 3 Romantic Interest
Romantic Interests will have this symbol
Building Romantic Interest
The first phase of romance in The Sims 3 is the Romantic Interest. This relationship level is hit as soon as your Sim (or the other) successfully completes certain romantic interactions with another Sim. If Sims are good enough friends, this can be triggered by just a little flirting, but early in a relationship a lot of interactions aren't available. Something simple like Confess Attraction is all that it takes. This will show you that the other Sim is indeed interested in yours and that a romance between them could work.

The more bold a romantic interaction, the more likely it is to fail when Sims are just starting to fall in love. As in life, it can be important to move slowly. That's not to say that two Sims can't fall in love and even propose marriage in the course of an afternoon, it's just all about the buildup. A failed romantic interaction can be a big blunder for a relationship's progress. If you move too fast, back off and try some easier things like a hug as opposed to a make-out session.

The Sims 3 Hopeless RomanticTraits Make a Huge Difference in Love
Certain traits can go a long way toward increasing your Sim's romantic success, though all Sims can eventually get married -- even those with Commitment Issues. Read the next section of this guide, Traits in Conversation, to learn about how those traits can make an impact. For love, the simplest information I can provide is that Charismatic, Friendly, Flirty, and Hopeless Romantic Sims are going to have an easier time finding a girlfriend or boyfriend. Spot another Sim who's a hopeless romantic (like one of my targets for this guide, Blair Wainwright) and they're in the bag. My flirty Sim was able to become her boyfriend in just a few short hours, as she accepted almost every pass he made. Of course this scenario would be quite different if she were Unflirty, but there's no nut you can't crack with a little patience and perseverance.

At any rate, once a Sim has been made a Romantic Interest more of the love socials will succeed, giving you a lot more options for how your Sim and potential Partner will proceed. The First Kiss interaction will unlock a few more options for kissing. Sims can be very conservative lovers. There's no need for things to get too hot and heavy in order for them to get engaged and wed.

Tone of Conversation - Turning up the Heat
As in other forms of communication between Sims, like the routine chat, the Tone of conversation will determine what options are available to you. When a Sim is being very alluring, they can really bring on the moves. Gaze into their eyes, embrace them, and whisper in their ear. Of course, interactions like this can be found under the special categories for traits even when you haven't set a tone. This is just one perk to having certain traits like Hopeless Romantic and Flirty.

A kiss in the park in The Sims 3

Sims 3 Girlfriend/Boyfriend
Propose Going Steady - Getting a Girlfriend or Boyfriend
When your Sim is being irresistible, they will have the option to ask the other Sim to go steady. This will set them as your Sim's Girlfriend or Boyfriend. They'll have a lot more privleges in your house, and getting caught cheating with another Sim can have major consequences. Jealousy can begin to be an issue, as well so you might not want to get caught flirting. At this stage in the relationship, they can propose marriage and a lot of interactions are available from the get-go. You don't need to build up momentum to WooHoo, for example. It's a cinch as long as the other Sim is in the mood.

Sims 3 Fiancee
Proposing Marriage - Getting Engaged
When your Sim has a boyfriend or girlfriend and the mood is right, they can then propose marriage. Use Romantic Interactions to make your Sim seem extremely irresistible and this will go over very smoothly. It's also how you get the option to appear in the first place unless your Sim is a hopeless romantic or possibly family oriented. This takes a bit of a high relationship to achieve. More so if one of the Sims has commitment issues. If your Sim is successful, the relationship moves up to the next highest level, fiancÚ(e).

A Formal Wedding in The Sims 3

Sims 3 Husband and Wife
Husband and Wife
Husbands and Wives - Holding the Wedding
You have two options to get Married in The Sims 3. You can hold a wedding party and do it in style, having the vows during the party. Try to plan it to be a great one - make sure all the guests' needs are met, and they're entertained. Or give your Sim has the Legendary Host Lifetime Reward. You schedule the wedding party by using the Throw Party interface on the cell phone. If a Sim in your household is engaged, everyone in the household will automatically have this option. However, it's important that the engaged Sim be the one to throw the party. Otherwise, guests will leave disappointed because the Sim who threw the party didn't get married. Like other parties, you can set the attire and time, drawing on your list of known Sims for the guest list. The wedding can be a major wish to fulfill, and it makes the two Sims very happy. Often the parents of the couple will have a wish to see their child get married. The parents also get a nice positive moodlet for being the Father or Mother of the Bride or Groom.

If you want a glorious wedding, use Build/Buy Mode prior to the wedding party to do all of your decorations and set up. It's a good idea to have the bride/groom either already living in your household or at least be on the premises before the wedding party. Don't count on the party invitation being enough to get the groom there on time! If you control both the bride and groom, it's fairly easy to get both of them in place for the ceremony. If you control only one, you'll need to put him/her at the ceremony spot and then call the fiancÚ(e) over. Once they are both in place, use the Romantic Interactions and select Get Married. The guests will automatically group around the couple and make the appropriate sounds for a wedding. After the wedding is finished, you'll get the screen to move the new spouse into the household (if they don't already live together).

However, if you're not into the whole party thing in the game, you can find the Have Private Wedding through the Romantic Interactions menu at any time after the acceptance of the marriage proposal. This will wed the two Sims instantly (as though they just got a marriage license). You'll be greeted with the household transfer menu, where you can bring over the spouse and select who will live where. Through either option of wedding, your two Sims will get a +50 Just Married moodlet for a couple of days.

Sims 3 Divorce - Ex-Husband and Ex-wife
Sims can indeed get divorced and separate. The option is found under Mean Interactions with "Break Up". Sorry, no signing Divorce papers in The Sims 3. In fact, you won't see the word "divorce" anywhere in the game. It's always called breaking up or splitting up, no matter what the exact relationship might be. Doing this will, of course, break hearts and cause a massive negative moodlet on the other Sim. When that moodlet is gone after a couple of days, interacting romantically with the ex will not be so awkward, and you can build momentum in conversation again, stepping up the romance levels and even get remarried, although the process is no different the second time around.

After Sims Break Up, they can Move out once more. You can select the Ex and use his/her cell phone and select Move. The Kick Out option is available, meaning the ex-spouse will go where ever they can without you having to choose or pay any money. Don't worry that he'll be homeless because a Sim who is kicked out will take possession of an empty house in town.

Cheating - Stealing Romance
This is a topic that has come to my email inbox multiple times now, so I'll answer it definitively here. Sims can cheat on one another - forbidden affairs are not rare in Sunset Valley or any other Sims 3 town. While you're flirting with another Sim, she may seem to say she has a boyfriend and cannot be doing things like this. Like I said, there's no nut you can't crack. Sims in relationships seem to need a bit more convincing, that is, relationship level, but they can and will cheat on the other Sim and you can even go so far as to commit full out adultery.

I found the Good Friends relationship level to be a sweet spot when my Sim was trying to woo the ladies away from their husbands. At that point, confess attraction things can move very, very quickly because of how much the cheaters like each other. If your Sim is caught by an angry husband, there's a good chance there will be a fight. Either way, don't expect the wounded partner to like it. Your relationship is going to take a massive hit. In most cases, if you want to steal a Sim from their husband or wife, you probably don't care about the consequences anyway. Asking the Sim to break up or divorce is like getting caught immediately. He'll know who took his girlfriend. And it's not just the partner/spouse who gets hurt. If a child or other family member witnesses the cheating, or even just flirting, there will be damage to the relationship and negative moodlets for betrayal.

Comments (86)

1 2 3 > [last]
sims3dsgirl says...
I thought that if I pressed the take it steady button we would break up but then I read this and now hes my husband! lol thanks
10th November 2012 2:08pm
sims3seasons4lyf says...
Hey ! I was just wondering if you still can get married in Sims 3 Seasons <3
Of course! There are just a few more romance options. See the Seasons guide and Spring.
21st November 2012 5:24am
Kennedy says...
even if they are married and you dont want them to brake up with there husbend can they woohoo and try for a baby with other sims?
22nd November 2012 9:58pm
wxw says...
Yes. My Sim was a Rockstar before he died and had 5 children by 5 different Sims. Never married, but he did live with the mother of his oldest son. The lifestyle of a rocker I guess...
28th December 2012 11:45am
Kaitlyn says...
One time when my aunt was playing she had this sim that went to the bar. She found this guy and brought him home to her apartment, then they woohooed and then when he got out of bed he died of hunger. It was hilarious she was like wtf?
22nd September 2013 8:15am
Paige says...
Yeah a siim can have an entire family will someone who's not his wife. If you keep it hidden, they won't break up and it's fine.
31st December 2012 8:42pm
Florencia says...
I have a problem.. The thing is, I have a fairy who married, had 4 children and her husband died. The thing is, I moved so I don't have his tombstone any more and I'm trying for her to start a relationship again with another man. But the thing is, is considered cheating! How can I start over if the "sims" consider her of cheating, SHE IS A WIDOW! Can you help me?? Thank you!
5th December 2012 4:31pm
epicgal says...
you don't have to worry because as long as you don't take the other sim to the husbands grave at night, your sim will be alright.
3rd January 2013 11:04pm
Desiree says...
OK, first open up the console window by pressing ctrl-shift-c then type in "testingcheatsenabled true". then go to the relationships page and drag the relation ship with the other sim up and propose going steady with him/her and if it works she wont be considered as cheating.
15th January 2013 11:54pm
Kristina says...
If you find the ghost of the ex-huband, go to 'Mean' and break up. The ghost should allow your sim to continue romantic advances, though he will probably get a little upset about it all....
3rd February 2013 3:13pm
binah06 says...
The ghost is still considered a "sim". In the sims 3 there is no such thing as a widow. You need to divorce the ghost.
4th April 2013 6:31pm
Sims Expert says...
There is such thing as a widow. My sim had 5 husbands who all died (by accident, of course >;) ). She was never considered to be cheating and on her scrapbook relationship thingy, it said she wasn't in a relationship. I never had to divorce a ghost or interact with them in any way. I have had something like that happen before, I just did the cheaty resetsim thing and it fixed.
7th May 2013 9:07am
Maya says...
even though it is not listed there is a widow cause a grass widow is one who husband died. a regular widow is when they get divored.
4th March 2014 5:15am
me says...
if you go to the lifetime rewards there should be one called clean slate that give you a fresh start in romance although it does cost 25'000 lifetime points
16th April 2013 2:46pm
Shelby says...
So, my Sim just got married, but nothing about moving in together came up.How do I get them to live together?
14th December 2012 6:45am
Matty says...
hold ctrl+shift+c and then type in 'testingcheatsenabled true'. Hold shift and click on the sim you want to move in and click 'add to family' or something like that. :)
7th April 2013 5:44pm
Ally says...
Same here! I am doing everything but nothing is working for them to move in!
28th April 2013 1:38pm
ndy says...
my sims can't propose to engagement,why is that? i mean usually it's not that hard. is that because i upgrade my game or what?thank you
25th December 2012 2:39pm
zoey says...
some times it doesnt work because they dont WANT to get marrie, try the guy propossing if it does not work then try the girl.nce on my game it did the same thing, i had to break up then get back together THEN geting married.
30th December 2012 7:03am
person says...
I need help. I had my sim get married but his wife won't live at his house. I didn't get a household transfer menu. P.S. It does say that they are married.
26th December 2012 6:56pm
randomname says...
hopefully this will pop up as a reply like i wanted it to. If you're only playing/living with one of the sims, just use the testingcheatsenabled true so you can get them to move in that way (shift-click on person. the option to add to active family)
25th March 2013 7:25pm
simplayer says...
if you want them 2 move in with you do a lot of friendly actions and it will eventually pop up as one of the actions to ask move in
1st December 2013 4:52pm
Anna says...
My sim got engaged to another vampire in Supernatural, Dante Morganthe, he came over to my sim's house and died of thirst. Then my sim was heart broken and decided to get a job at the firestation and found a cute guy there. She flirted with him and the game said "Victoria has a Naughty reputation." Why did this happen? I mean Dante's dead now! She's not cheating on him.
27th December 2012 4:50pm
Nora says...
First of all OMG!:-) You were able to marry HIM?!he has commitment issues and didn't really like my Sim,which stunk because he is the hottest supernatural in the game!But anyway,as long as his grave isn't on your property, you should be okay and up top,Desiree told Florencia a cheat.Also,last,you could use the clean-slate lifetime reward to make the neighbor hood forget about your past relationships Good Luck.
27th January 2013 3:22am
Karlee1022 says...
Hi! Ok so my sim is dating this guy and they've gone on a bunch of dates and he finds her extremely irresistible and still he hasn't proposed. Why is that? He has the flirty, family oriented, and hopeless romantic traits. Does my sim have to propose or will the boyfriend, the sim I'm not controlling eventually propose?
30th December 2012 5:44am
PetarInthahouse says...
As i know,you have to propose,because a sim controlled by a computer wouldnt propose.
2nd January 2013 12:38am
sydney says...
my Sims have just got married but the household thing didn't come up and I can't get them to live together why is that?? They are married but not living together and I can't get them to because the button didn't come up
1st January 2013 7:49pm
casandra24 says...
Open the cheat bar by clicking c and ctrl and shift all at the same time. Then type in testingcheatsenabled true then click on your Sims partner and in the same time click ctrl and shift then click on add Sims to active household
2nd February 2013 10:00am
Riverview says...
You might need to wait a bit, but eventually your sim will get the 'move in with' wish. You may be able to go earlier. The only problem I've ever had with moving in was that they would get the wish long after they moved in with eachother.
7th April 2013 6:18am
Leelee11591 says...
Hey i have a household with a vampire werewolf fairy and a witch... The witch learned how to do the Love Charm and now she causing my sims to get mad each other and change their reputations to cheaters. I want the witch to stop doing the charm on everybody! Help! Lol
4th January 2013 3:17pm
1 2 3 > [last]
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